Learn to Focus on the things that only you can control
Anytime I write, I always ask myself — will this benefit my daughters one day when they are older?
When it comes to the the things that we control and cannot control, I feel like people always lose sight of this. We often end up putting too much energy worrying about things that we cannot control.
The things that we can control are often blurred by all of the other distractions that we “think” we can control, but in reality we cannot.
Part of life and maturity is differentiating all of the things that you can and cannot control that are currently circulating within your mind and your personal life.
Once you have found that separation, then draw a line that signifies that you will no longer put unnecessary energy into things that are out of your control.
Going forward, your goal is to focus on all of the things within your personal realm that you CAN control and find ways to improve those areas of your life.
Here Are 10 Things You Can Always Control In Your Life:
1. Your Attitude
It’s not just important to do great things within your life, it is just as important how you choose to carry yourself and behave while you are living.
Attitude and Mindset are a-lot alike. Your attitude will reveal your mindset. If you have a poor mindset, then your attitude will reflect that.
The best thing is, we get to control our attitude. We get to choose exactly how we want to behave and we control the attitude that we demonstrate while we are executing both easy and hard things in life.
You can be having a poor day, but you can control your attitude as you walk through that day. Just because something is hard or something is wrong does not mean that you have the entitlement to act out irrationally or react a certain way.
2. Your Effort
I looked at my cars the other day and I saw that they were dirty. The last thing I wanted to do was go outside for a few hours and hand-wash two vehicles one being an SUV and the other being a full-size truck. But, I thought to myself — “when am I really going to be in the mood to wash my cars?”
I knew that they were dirty and they needed a wash, so I went outside and started washing the cars. Throughout the process I started to get involved in the actual activity. I started to focus. My effort started to increase as I continued working on the task at hand.
Your effort is something that you can always control. Nobody can take away or add to your effort, you own it entirely. Therefore, you should really take pride in the work that you do, the things that you start and really let your effort shine through those moments.
Regardless of how you feel towards working on a given task, always put forth your best effort.
Most importantly don’t ever do it for someone else. Do it for you.
3. Your Physical Health
Growing up in life nutrition and positive physical health habits were never a thing. My grandparents, nor my parents have a clue towards the overall physical health aspect of their lives. Whether the information was not readily available, or they had zero interest to learn it, these types of conversations were never had.
As I got older and life become more complicated with more responsibilities and greater challenges my physical health began to decline, meanwhile, I was completely oblivious to what was taking place because I was too caught up in other places.
Don’t let this happen to you.
Always keep your health at the top of your mind. Indulge in all the foods and leisure activities that you want, just always keep proper balance. I have learned that the proper balance is always keeping my overall physical health a priority over anything else. This mindset translates into daily physical activity and an overall balanced nutrition approach.
Our physical health is all we have.
With out physical health we are not able to experience, embrace and cherish the beautiful things life has to offer.
Don’t let laziness and procrastination get the best of you and your health.
4. Who You Surround Yourself With
This one right here, is so important and I feel it is highly undervalued. If you are not paying attention to the people you are surrounding yourself with, you are going to get to a place in your life that you are not satisfied with all because you were influenced on a daily basis by the people you surround yourself with.
If the people you hang out with and spend time with are not supportive of who you are or what you do, no matter how much you try you will find yourself in a state of unhappiness rather quickly.
Instead, try to limit time with people who exhaust you. Try spending more time either alone or surrounded with people who are positive, optimistic, critical thinkers and they actually want the best for you and not themselves.
Too many people out there have their own hidden agendas. They can seem like they want to be a supportive role in your life, but in reality they have so many issues within themselves, that they just pour out negativity. These are not the people that you want to surround yourself with.
You control this aspect of your life. The people who you choose to surround yourself with are going to have a major influence on who you become down the line.
5. Your Heart For Others
Believe In Help is a site that was created with the intention of helping other people. Simple as that. As a couple and now a family, my spouse and I have always had a desire to help other people that may be in need.
If there is one thing I have learned in my life is that not enough people treat each other with respect. I believe that focusing on helping other people is important. With technology today, we have the opportunity to impact a lot more people on a mass basis than previous generations.
Always take time to understand people. We all come from different walks of life. Treating someone with respect and with a positive approach can go very far. You never know what a person is going through at the moment they interact with you.
6. Your Level Of Gratitude
I always beat myself up about how much I take for granted in my life. I make a genuine effort to be as grateful as possible and as present as possible in each minute of my life. I am truly grateful for what I have in my life. I believe that taking time to slow down and really soak in all that you have in your life is key to finding fulfillment and the power of gratitude.
We are human and the way society and technology is moving, our daily psychology of the hedonic cycle is growing. People today just want more and more. The social media marketing and online marketing that is taking place is purposely trying to draw more and more people away from their center of gratitude and deeper into the mindset of “you can never have enough.”
I encourage you to take more time out of each day and give thanks for all that you have in your life. Do not compare what you have to what anyone else has and just be grateful for what you do have in this current moment.
7. Your Mindset
There is an excellent book called “Mindset” by Carol Dweck. If you are still with me or have simply scanned down to this piece—buy it!
The book discusses the differences between a growth mindset and fixed mindset.
Mindset is a super important concept to understand within your own personal life and overall development. The way we look at things is vital towards our level of success within those areas.
Life is a very challenging journey. There are going to be trying times that you will have to face and the hard part is that these times will present themselves whether you are are ready or not to handle them.
A growth mindset will always help you to see difficult times as a challenge and not a stress response and it will allow for you to find solutions and not sulk in problems.
Playing the victim in a situation is only going to set you back (for years if you are not careful). Learn to adopt a growth mindset and power through the challenges that life will present you.
8. How You View Difficulty
Life hits hard. You will undoubtedly experience pain and suffering multiple times throughout your life. If you run from it and try to shelter yourself from this pain and suffering all you are doing is setting yourself up for more pain and suffering.
When you experience difficult moments within your life, try to focus on using those moments for personal growth. Life’s hardest moments carries the best lessons.
Something that people often forget is that we control how we choose to look at something difficult. All of this is cultivated within the human mind.
What you find difficult may not be difficult to me. It is all dependent on how you choose to view difficulty and what is classified as “difficult” within your God-given mind.
When faced with a difficult task, always remember that you control how difficult you choose to view that given assignment or task.
9. Time Management
When you start to think in terms of years, you begin to see your time differently. From my experience, it creates a paradigm shift. Time is more valuable than money. The better you begin to manage your time, the more achievements you see flourish from your time and efforts.
Don’t waste your precious time doing things you don’t want to be doing. In addition don’t commit to things you know are going to be a waste of your time.
Learn to prioritize your time and view it as the gold that it truly is. Audit your time, look for areas of improvement, create routines and put your time into the things that you truly want out of life.
10. Your Career Path
I have seen this all too often. You have too many people today working a job that they hate and don’t want to report to. Whether it is because they hate their boss, the culture is not a fit for them, they have toxic co-workers, or they just don’t buy-in to the mission of the company.
This is something that is super common to run into and I believe it is all because people are stuck in debt and need a paycheck to pay the bills. Even if they are not stuck in debt, they need money to pay their day-to-day expenses. I get it.
However, we control where we spend our time and therefore we control where we choose to work.
If you choose to work for someone else, know that you will be spending 45 hours a week at some other place other than your home. This translates into a majority of your time being dispensed. If you are not happy at the place you are currently working for, then make the sacrifices necessary and leave.
Have the courage to go find work that is going to fulfill you and bring out the best within you.
A positive place of work will provide energy and sustain it. Conversely, a toxic place of work will withdraw your energy and create stress for you to take home. If your job is taking away more energy than it is providing, it’s time to start considering an exit and putting forth some effort to find a more positive place to work.
11. How You Manage Your Money
Money management is an absolute necessary skill that we need to learn in life. It is mastered by learning, self-discipline, organization, and abstaining from instant gratification.
The way we choose to manage our finances is going to be a direct reflection of our financial picture. If you choose to buy things that you don’t need or don’t have money for, then you are going to be spending a lot of money that you shouldn’t be spending.
When we purchase things that we do not need or cannot afford, we usually end up in some sort of debt. If you want to improve your financial situation, the fastest way to succeeding at that is to eliminate excessive debt. Once you don’t owe anyone any money, you are now financially free. You can now put your time into the things that you want and have no pressure.
We control our finances. If there is one thing I have learned in my own financial journey is that financial confidence is something that is earned. You have to put focus into your finances regardless of your goals and aspirations. The moment you let go of your money management operations is the moment when your financial picture takes a turn for the worst rather quickly.