Mother Teresa has an excellent quote that as parents we live by each day:
“If you want to change the world go home and love your family.”— Mother Teresa
If we truly want to make an impact in today’s world, it begins right at home. What we allow to exist in our homes is going to transfer into our everyday life.
As parents to three children, my husband and I see the importance of the environment we create in our home. If you have children, then you already know the impact that you are having on their lives. On the flip-side, if you don’t have children, you know first hand the impact your parents had over you.
The key is to stay as aware and as close as possible to the understanding that real change begins at home. We should remind ourselves of this as our family life unfolds.
Lead By Example
Our kids had a disaster going on in their rooms to the point where I would be embarrassed if someone ever saw it. I wanted to grab all of them and just start raising my voice and try to scare the mess out of them! 😡 But then, I slowed down for a second and I asked myself, how I would appreciate this if I was a kid?
I wouldn’t like it one bit. Yes, it is my mess, but I am a kid, and my head is running a million miles an hour with tons of fun things to do. I am not mature enough yet to slow down and start looking at organization habits, and routines to improve my productivity 😂.
So, I slowed down and thought about all of this, and decided I was going to take a different approach. I was going to look in the mirror first and find ways that I could improve this situation with them. Leadership in your home is everything. If you don’t lead by example in your own home, then you are not going to do it anywhere else — not effectively, anyway.
As I was looking for areas of opportunities, I found many. Once I drew up my list, I called them over and we had our team meeting. I spoke to them, they listened intently, and then I opened the floor for any comments and questions for them to share. They expressed how they felt, and the ideas that they had. Together, we decided to move forward and take action on moving towards a more organized space.
The point here, is all about the leadership approach. That situation made me realize, that if I am not teaching them and showing them properly, they are not going to learn what they should. Instead of pointing the finger at them, I knew I had to take a look at myself and hold both myself and the rest of the house accountable.
Be the change in your home that you want for everyone else to pick up on.
Every home needs faith, and that faith gets instilled by the leaders of the home. Faith is something that nowadays you can’t even talk about before someone gets offended, or has some remark to make, but it is still important to me.
Family is the most important thing you will ever have in your life. I believe if you want to have a happy home, it should be based off of a foundation of faith. Faith keeps you centered, it brings you to a point in your life where you can choose the difficult path without being scared. If you have kids in your home, faith can only bring your family closer and keep them there.
Having patience in your home is important. I believe the more you practice your patience in your home, the easier it will be for you to demonstrate when life hands you challenges. In our homes, is where we are our truest, realist selves. If we pay attention closely we can pick up on all of the small habits and behaviors that we display. This can help you weed out the bad ones and fortify the good ones.
Patience is something that I struggle with personally. It does not come easy to me or my children — well, they are children so patience doesn’t really exist. 🙄
I find that way too often we jump the gun, we want things immediately and if things take a short turn for the worse, we panic. This is not a good approach, and it is something that should be changed. That change gets cultivated in the home. Look for activities and hobbies that can help you practice your patience threshold (I personally like exercise).
Patience is a form of love. It is a way we show each other that we are okay with things not being perfect. We are willing to withstand and live each day moving towards an opportunity to improve ourselves as a family. Sometimes we are so quick to judge, we get flustered with the fact that someone is not understanding our point or picking it up quick enough.
These are the moments where it is valuable to take a pause, and slow yourself down to understand that we are all different people. We are not going to pick something up as quick as others. Sometimes, things are going to need to be repeated a few times, and that is okay! Frustrating? Of course, but it’s not the end. Practice patience and show empathy to those in your home and this will help you create the consistency needed to do the same with everyone you come into contact with going forward.
Love should be an obvious one in the home. Unfortunately, not every home is blessed with love and care. There are plenty of homes out there that lack the love, patience, and respect.
Love is important when you are trying to establish a role of leadership. People don’t want to follow someone they dislike, they want to follow someone who has the overall package. People want to follow someone who cares for them and loves them.
If you really want to improve your leadership role, learn to care and love for your people.
In our home, we value the respect of one another. Now, you might think everyone does, but we hold our standard to a high level. My children are little and while we could get away with so much we choose not to. We choose to respect each other in our home and we are careful with our words, attitude and intentions.
A high level of respect is necessary in every relationship. The higher you value respect, the better off your relationships in your life are going to be. Every person that walks this planet deserves respect, until they demonstrate to you otherwise. A husband, a wife, parents, siblings, children and your pets all deserve the same level of respect. Not staying mindful of this could cause you to do or say something that can hurt the morale in your home. Take respect seriously, and watch the way you talk to your loved ones and the words you choose to use.
Loyalty & Trust
The best relationships in life are built off of loyalty and trust. These are the cement to your structure. You can’t build a home off of a rocky foundation, so just as you would not build a structure without a strong foundation, you don’t do it with a relationship either.
Loyalty and trust are built over time. I notice it with my children from time to time. Just because they are my kids does not mean that they just naturally trust me. I have to prove to them and show them that I love them and that I am only here to work with them and never against them. Over time the relationship strengthens and the family becomes stronger as a unit.
Leadership is often coupled with strength and courage. When I say strength, I am not talking about physical strength. Emotional and mental strength is more of what I am talking about.
Tough times boil down to tough decisions, and if you want to lead your household by example, you need to muster up your strength. Contributing to a home can be one of the best investments on your time that you could make.
We are each born with a specific set of gifts and talents, it is our responsibility to discover them and share them with the world so that we can make the world a better place. In order to properly make an impact in the world you will need strength to help you keep moving forward and developing yourself into the best version of yourself.
When we are performing at our full potential; that is truly when we are helping other people. That is what Believe In Help is all about. I wouldn’t be able to share what has worked for my family if it weren’t for our strength to keep on going no matter what stands in our path.
Focus On The Positive
I’ve seen households where there was too much emphasis on the negative rather than the positive. There is more focus today on what is wrong, or what can go wrong, then there is on all of the positive, beautiful things we are accomplishing as a species.
Don’t allow this toxicity into your home. In your home, choose to focus on all of the things that are going right. Look at all of your accomplishments and share them with your family. When your child brings a report card home, don’t immediately look for and comment on the “bad” grades. Use those scenarios as a way to build your kid up, not tear them down.
Don’t be so quick to look for all the way things can go wrong. Look for all of the opportunities that can go right. Think about all of the things you can accomplish if you and your family foster the environment that you create for yourselves.
You don’t need to be some tyrant in your household. What good is it to have your house and all your affairs in order, if you are are a pain to be around? I think in order to be an effective leader you have to possess some form of humor to add into your day. 😜
A happy home is a place that once you build it, you won’t want to let it go. It becomes your sanctuary and it is somewhere that no matter what is taking place in the world around you, you are happy and feel secure. Wanting to have your house in order is great and all, but at what expense. In our home, humor and jokes are a must. Have fun in your home and enjoy the company of your loved ones!🤪
Keep Your Cool
Leaders always keep their cool under circumstances of pressure. As a leader in our homes we must learn to do the same. I would argue, that it is more important to keep your cool at home, than anywhere else. You share space with people you love and things are not always going to be perfect. There will be moments of trial and adversity within your team and keeping your cool during moments of adversity is a great skill to own and practice under your own roof.
If something pops off in your home, whether that be with a sibling, parent, spouse, you keep your cool and demonstrate your leadership and compassion with those that you love and care about. Owning this skill at home will give you that much more of an advantage to keep your cool under pressure out in the real world.
Instilling a leadership role in every home is important. But, a leadership role as we have discussed, is not about being an authoritarian and ordering people to stay in line. Real leadership is founded off of love and trust, the ability to lead people down the right path and inspire them to become better version of themselves.
Every home needs its leaders, and in our home my husband and I take that role very seriously. We know that life can bring its ups & downs, we just want to make sure that we are that foundation for our children who are growing up so fast in a time where things are evolving and changing. If you are not evolving and changing for your betterment during these times, you will set yourself up for struggles that weren’t necessary.